Valentine's Day… Meh!

Roses are red.

Violets are Blue.

We won’t just celebrate our love because the greetings card, flower and chocolate companies told us to.

Are we cynics? Probably. Are we wrong? Probably not. Don’t get us wrong, we love love. And we love each other. And yes, it sounds hypocritical of us to create a wedding blog to celebrate the hype around a wedding and to turn our noses up at the allocated date in the calendar dedicated to showcasing love. But there’s a difference.

A wedding day happens once. You spend that one day celebrating a freshly forged permanent union between two kindred souls and you invite those close to you to share in your celebration. I intend on having one wedding; one husband. I tell him every morning, every night and multiple times through every day that I love him. He doesn’t need me to buy him flowers and dinner to show that love. I show him that every time I buy the extra bottle of wine on the way home from work, or when I walk the dog early so he can have a lie in. He shows me when he gives me extra gravy or adds Yorkshire puddings to a roast that isn’t with beef. I realise this makes him sound like a lazy lush and me like a greedy gannet. Both of those things are only partly true.

That being said, I don’t want to insult those who do want to show it on Valentine’s Day. You do you, huns.

I enjoy Halloween. Others don’t. That’s fine.

Some people celebrate Easter, some celebrate Hanukah. Others don’t. That’s fine.

Some people get excited for the Oscars, or the Met Gala, or the final of Strictly Come Dancing. Others do not. That’s fine too… though if you don’t watch Strictly, what do you do with your Saturday nights in Autumn?!

And if you don’t have anyone to share Valentine’s day with, so what?

This “holiday” (I use the term loosely) is just an over inflated Saint’s Day. Even the origin of which Saint it refers to is mirky. Apparently there are three different Saints named Valentine. Some think a man named Valentine, later honoured as a Saint, sent a love note from his prison cell to his jailor’s daughter signed off with ‘From Your Valentine’. Some associate February 14th as the start of birds mating season. Some believe Valentine’s Day is a ‘Christianised’ version of the Pagan Festival of Lupercalia, a Roman festival celebrating the fertility of women and crops, when eligible girls would be paired with the city’s bachelors for the coming year.

But St Valentine is also the patron saint of epilepsy and the patron saint of beekeepers, and I doubt restaurants and hotels would be upping their prices for one day if that’s what we were celebrating today.

The point is there are no rules. Like what you like. Do things because you want to do them. If you want to go overboard and buy chocolates, flowers, dinner, cocktails, a hotel room, a new dress, new nails and a Brazilian wax then go for it babes. Just don’t do it cos you’re pressured into doing it, do it cos you want to shower your loved one with love.

I suppose that is something we have to remember as we prep for the wedding. The spectacle of the day needs to be a celebration of our love, because we love, not because we have to. There are traditions that are expected, there are conventions which have become standard. But it will be our day and it has to be what we want in order to celebrate our love. We shouldn’t do things because we feel they are expected of us, we should do them because we want to, or at least want to reinvent them.

So how can I round this up without sounding grim? How can I finish the post acknowledging the validity of displays of affection without indulging in societal expectations. OK, here goes.

Roses are Red.

Violets are Blue.

Happy Beekeepers Day Liam.

I Love You.

Love Stories at the Wedding House

The Wedding House Liverpool – 09.02.20

Photo Credit Adam Hudson Photography

No, we haven’t confirmed our venue or date yet, but yes I am (Jay is) still attending wedding fairs. Also yes, it’s really hard to make any real selections at these fairs until we have the venue and the date solid in our diaries with a giant love heart drawn around it and with a sense of impending dread at the mammoth task of planning the actual events of that date. But how could we resist this fair?

It’s a whole house dedicated to weddings: a place filled with all the things that get me excited. That’s like taking a Liverpool fan to Anfield, or taking Catherine Zeta Jones to an old people’s home. Everything I see about weddings gets me a little bit more excited for our day. And yes, the temptation to get obsessed planning the day is always there and it’s important not to get too carried away forgetting it’s about that commitment for the rest of your lives. But the way I see it, our wedding day is going to be a pivotal moment of our lives with all those who are dear to us standing by to share in a moment that celebrates our commitment to each other. The wedding day is the entry point to our marriage, and we both want that entry point to be just right.

At the first ever wedding fair we attended, the Lovely Little Wedding Fair (see earlier blog), we met the lovely Daisy on the stall for Groom Hire and The Wedding House Liverpool, and it was Daisy who made me aware of the G Wedding Directory, where we are now the featured blog. Well hats off to her, because she curated the whole Love Stories fair this weekend. And what a fab job she did!

If you haven’t been to The Wedding House Liverpool, it’s well worth a visit, not least for the new basement cafe, Vault, serving up a delicious menu in its many little nooks and crannies which are perfect to make camp and discuss wedding ideas. Spread across 5 floors, the house is the regular home of a team of resident suppliers each with their own store, but for this fair there wasn’t a corner left unwomanned or unmanned. Wedged between the residents were visiting suppliers of every kind sharing their know-how, advice and expertise (and free samples!) to all of the blushing brides and grinning grooms.

Yes, the grooms are usually fewer at these events, but when the first shop in the building is a menswear store for grooms and groomsmen then the ratio of guy:gal seems to equalise, even if the testosterone never makes it past the ground floor. I, of course, made it far beyond the ground floor all the way to the third floor attic.

My trips are speculative right now: we can’t choose anything or set any ideas in stone, because the venue we choose might change all of the ideas. So for me it’s a lengthy process of scoping out all of the options and I enjoy chatting to and getting to know the suppliers, much to the dismay of whoever comes with me. Whilst some may attend these fairs knowing what they’re looking for and can be in and out within an hour, I take my time, though I’m sure once we get more and more elements confirmed I’ll be able to bypass the suppliers offering services we’re already covered for.

One lovely element that I experienced today, having been to a few North West fairs now, is bumping into suppliers you’ve met before, especially ones who have been following the blog. This included Jessica Lang Photography, Onyx Weddings, Opulence Weddings and Florrie & Rene Vintage Hire. It’s like a little check in, and everyone seems to remember the details we discussed at our last meeting. Every wedding is different and unique to the particular couple so these pros we meet are brilliant at remembering how you’re planning your day.

It’s like curry. We all have our preferences. And we know there are loads of ingredients and how they are used in combination will determine the flavour we end up with. Right now I’m tasting all of the ingredients and once we start selecting which ones we’re going to start with the rest will make sense and fall into place. Now I want a curry.

Amongst the amazing new suppliers we met today were:

  • PHOTOGRAPHY – Rachel Ryan Photography, Debbie McGregor Weddings
  • EVENTS – Card-en Party, Natasha McKenzie Weddings, Nanny Tap Wedding Nannies
  • BRIDAL HEADWARE – Rocks for Frocks
  • JEWELLERY – Wongs Jewellers
  • CAKES – The Sweet Tooth Bakery
  • FLOWERS – Paper Seed Floristry, Karen McGrath Flowers

We’ve made arrangements to view our first choice venue next week during school’s half term so hopefully we’ll be able to start making some decisions by the time we get to our next fair: the National Wedding Show, a massive event in its Manchester pop up. Hopefully if the venue is booked we can start narrowing down which stalls we need to visit… not necessarily for my sake but for those who end up waiting around while I chat to everyone I meet. Either that or I’ll just have to drop them off at the creche on the way in or bring them some colouring to do!

Hello G Wedding Directory!

So this is exciting. We are now the featured blog on the G Wedding Directory… I’m Jay and my fiancé, favourite and future husband is Liam. Hi new people!

When I started typing this tale it was about documenting the differences between a wedding with two grooms and a conventional bridal wedding, whether that wedding has a bride and groom or two brides. You see, the industry is aimed towards supporting the bride, because it’s usually the excited bride doing all the planning. The groom’s job traditionally goes on pause after the proposal and resumes on the wedding day as he learns how to fasten a cravat.

And of course, there are obviously a lot of grooms who take part in the preparations but it is still usually in the capacity of being dragged along by their freshly-ringed bridezilla, who just happens to have made all the wedding decisions at the age of 6 wearing a tea towel for a veil.

I wore that tea towel too. Sometimes I was the bride and sometimes I was Maria on the hill at the start of The Sound of Music.

It’s OK planning your wedding since childhood, it’s very different when you actually have to do the actual booking instead of make believe and imagination. For the record, no tea towels will be used in the making of our wedding suits.

Almost three weeks into both the blog and the wider world of wedding planning and we’re just finding our feet. There’s so much to consider: suits, venue, flowers, music, decorations, registrars, table plans, invitations, party favours… and that’s before even thinking about stag parties and a honeymoon. But thankfully it feels like we haven’t been stumbling about in the semi-dark. That’s due to the people we’ve met so far: this wider community of people whose job it is to make sure you know what you’re doing.

Could there be a happier job than working at weddings? I mean yes we all see dramatic films where the single girl at the wedding hates the whole experience having just lost her first love played by Hugh Grant, but in reality is anyone ever actually sad at a wedding? Imagine if that was your job… always around weddings and excited people, that must be the happiest occupation in the world. It’s like the complete opposite of traffic wardens. (Yes, I have a serious gripe with traffic wardens!)

Well it is the lovely wedding suppliers, businesses, stylists, photographers and planners who have helped get us started and guide our ideas so far, and through this blog and its Instagram counterpart, they have led us to the G Wedding Directory, which seems to be Mecca for Man-On-Man Marriage.

Thanks for joining us on this journey and following our blog. If you like what we write and how we find our way please feel free to share our links with all of your friends. If you don’t, I dare you to turn up at our wedding and shout “I Object!” at the opportune moment!

The Ring

So I think it’s time to talk about the ring. Not just my ring (and yes, I’m avoiding all of the obvious gay innuendos!) but the concept of an engagement ring in general.

The ring is a symbol: a metal band with no start and no end symbolising the eternity of the love between two people. But I always feel like the engagement ring has another symbolic meaning: it’s that little sign that says “ON RESERVE” or “Husband will collect later”, like a romantic click and collect.

Before we got engaged people always asked “Who is going to propose?” and we always knew it would be Liam. I wanted to be proposed to and he wanted to do the proposing… though I used to joke that he just wanted to delay the proposal. To be fair if I was the proposer I’d have probably asked him a few months into our relationship and he would have run for the hills so it’s better this way round!

But since it happened the new question is “Does Liam get a ring too?”. And this is first bridal tradition dilemma to solve when there is no bride…


These dilemmas are the point of this blog. The answer is no, for us anyway. Not because I won’t get him one (which I would) but because he doesn’t want one. He just wants the wedding band which we will both get, so yes, I’ll have two. And why is that weird because there are two grooms? When a man proposes to a woman no one expects that he’d also get an engagement ring. In those cases Person A asks Person B to marry them; if Person A says “yes” then they wear a ring given to them by Person B. That’s that, no questions asked. Liam is Person A and I’m Person B.

He doesn’t want to wear a ring, however he did say he wants an Ultimate Collector’s Series LEGO Star Destroyer. I gave him the ring back. Of course that’s a joke, like I ever would.

OK, so let’s talk about the actual ring. It is a beautiful and simple 18 carat white gold wedding band. Liam did good. And thankfully he didn’t get it engraved with “one ring to rule them all…” around the edge like he threatened. If you haven’t worked it out yet, he can be a bit of a geek. He said that he went for the wedding band because engagement rings for men are “disgusting and vile”, his words not mine. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never had to shop for them, but from the stories he tells of ring shopping for me with his mum there wasn’t a great selection of engagement rings for men. This leads me to another of my dilemmas…


Again, I’m gonna say no for us specifically, because it’s not often you see male jewellery being jewel-heavy. But the real answer is that you can have whatever you want. It comes back to simply being a symbol and if you wish your reserve sign to be jewelled then do what makes you happy. You can both a ring if you want. You can have it full bling if you want. Hell, if you want you can take Phoebe’s advice from Friends and propose with an engagement revolutionary war musket. You do you, hun, and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t!

These wedding traditions are just that: traditions. They aren’t rules. Make your own rules, and break them if you want. 5 years ago it was illegal for two men to marry: we got rid of that rule and who knows what other rules we can get rid of. So in our case, my Person A chose a beautiful white gold band and suggested that our actual wedding bands should be in rose gold, which I love because it totally goes with the colour schemes I have in mind for the actual wedding day… no spoilers yet!

But again, back to my ring, which (as I mentioned in my first blog post about our “En-GAY-gement”) didn’t fit initially, but that wasn’t through Liam’s lack of trying! Bless him, he went to every length to make sure it fit. I don’t wear rings so he had nothing to work from to judge the size, so how do you even start?

Fellas listen up, he had a great way of measuring my finger (again, avoiding innuendo) – even though it didn’t fully work. He got me completely drunk until I fell asleep on the couch (which, I don’t advocate, #MeToo) and wrapped a string around my finger, marking the width of my finger where it met. He took the string to a jeweller and had that converted into a ring size, which they worked out as a P-size. The only problem was that he didn’t accommodate for the width of the knuckle. So the part where my ring sits is a P-size… but it has to get past my R-size knuckle first. Of course, we only found out the knuckle was an R when we went to get it resized at A. M. Diggle, the jewellers on Richmond Street in Liverpool, who I highly recommend! The whole process took under an hour to remeasure, resize the ring and then re-dip it for the white gold coating.

So 9 days after the proposal I got to see how my hand looks with my new reserve sign on it. Husband will collect later.

Oh, and 28 days later Liam is still waiting for his Ultimate Collector’s Series LEGO Star Destroyer.

The North West Wedding Show

Bliss Events, Exhibition Centre Liverpool – 19.01.20

It’s impossible to be unhappy at a wedding show. This may have only been the second one I’ve attended but you learn pretty quickly that it’s a place full of joy. And why wouldn’t it be? The guest list is a collection of people all focused on preparations for the happiest of days and the services are there to remove the stress of those preparations – aside from the stress of the costs they might incur!

Last week’s ‘Lovely Little Wedding Fair’ turned out to be a perfect way to ease in to this Wedding-World gently; in the same way I’d imagine the first soft cotton training bra would help practice before the DD’s develop. At this week’s wedding exhibition, the DD’s were in full bloom because it was HUGE!

In attendance this week were myself and both Mothers of the Grooms, Paula (mine) and Debbie (his). Groom 2 (Liam) is not a voluntary morning person and has graciously given me the reigns for planning this wedding… though if my experience with him as a passenger in my car is anything to go by I’m sure I’ll be subjected to plenty of back-seat driving along the way!

The brochure advertised no less than 122 exhibitors split across the main hall of stalls and the quirky corner of alternative suppliers in the area named ‘The Curious Place’. Where do you even start? My mum decided she always has to start clockwise to the left, leading us right into the alternative universe.

If I’m not careful (or more like if Liam doesn’t intervene) I will end up with a full Harry Potter-themed wedding. I won’t be able to stop at the spellbook-and-snitch cake (Debbie Gillespie Cake Design), the potion-and-snake bouquet (Maddison Rocks Floral Sculpture) or the Marauder’s Map Seating Plan (Prim & Glad)… I’ll keep going until I can have the Sorting Hat as the celebrant, House Elves will serve canapés and we’ll travel down the aisle on animatronic broomsticks. I just read that paragraph to Liam and consider that plan vetoed.

Today we were lucky enough to have the VIP experience and the team at Bliss Events couldn’t have been more helpful and accommodating – huge thanks to Jan and Lynn! With the VIP upgrade we had some chill time to discuss the stalls we’d visited so far in the VIP Lounge (decorated by Humphries AV, Prominent Events, Thornton Events) with Prosecco on tap and delicious canapés from D’vine Catering. We then were escorted to front row seats for the Runway Show.

I have to admit I thought the runway was going to be twenty minutes of commenting on the prettiness of some dresses I’d never wear and developing a complex about how much dieting I still have to do to avoid blissful wedded FATrimony. Both of those things did happen… BUT… I also got to see how the menswear worked on the runway, a great opportunity I didn’t expect, and one that has actually thrown a spanner in the works for our whole colour scheme. Seeing the guys in the suits on the runway gave me more of an appreciation for traditional colours so it opens up even more possibilities. My mother is happy, as she’s not fully sold on my colour scheme. I reminded her that her young bridesmaid and pageboy wore their recycled First Holy Communion outfits for her wedding so she can get in the bin.

It is in the forefront of my mind that all of these smaller details depend upon the venue, which we do not yet have. Our inclination towards the warehouse vibe remains unchanged but we are no closer to finding one. Right now it all feels a bit like Netflix… knowing you want to watch a film but having so much to choose from you don’t know what is going to be for the best; or in our case letting your mind get carried away with invitation styles when you don’t actually know where people will be invited to. I need to know where and when it will be so we can plan accordingly: choose decorations and entertainment that suits the venue, finalise budget allocations based on how much of the budget goes to the venue and what we get for that deal. This week’s job is to arrange some viewings.

But that is actually why we attended today: the lovely folks at Wachadoin’ Events told us last week that venues would be presenting at this fair so it’d be a good one to attend. Side note – Wachadoin’ Events have an amazing set of brand new gold and neon wings revealed exclusively for this weekend’s show and they are beautiful!

Another little perk of this being our second event was bumping into companies we met last week, especially Daisy from Groom and The Wedding House Liverpool (who have their own fair coming up 8th/9th Feb!) and Wendi, the celebrant. We already have celebrant plans (will discuss all in a future blog) but if we didn’t I’m sure Wendi would be our gal!

Amongst the amazing new suppliers we met today were:

  • BARS – The Distillery Box, The Vintage Van Company
  • CAKE – Debbie Gillespie Cake Design
  • CATERING – D’vine Catering
  • CLOTHING – This Is Me Bridal Southport, Slaters Menswear
  • EVENT EXTRAS – Lovely Booths, Schlizzy
  • FLOWERS – Little Eden Flowers, Flowers at the Dutch Barn, Maddison Rocks Floral Sculpture
  • MUSIC – Victoria Sharpe (Piano & Vocals)
  • PHOTOGRAPHY – Vicki Clayson Photography, Jaine Briscoe Price Wedding Photographer
  • STATIONARY – Tatty Lashes, By InvitatiOnly, Elite Invite, Prim & Glad
  • VENUES – The Tipis at Riley Green, Rowton Hall Country House and Spa, West Tower

I have to say the most impressive thing about this event is the inclusion of the groom. Even down to the stickers given out on arrival saying ‘bride’ and/or ‘groom’. Just having that option is so welcoming, especially whilst creating this blog, and means the suppliers can recognise who to talk to within a party, making the whole day more personal. My future mother-in-law is also planning her wedding for September and we did get a few awkward moments when people thought we were marrying each other. Then I tried on a veil and they realised we each had our own groom.

You could easily make your way to the specific stands you want to see and be in and out within an hour. We took 4 hours to visit all of the stalls, though most of that was me deep in conversation and the mothers eye rolling to move on and repeating the phrase “He can talk to anyone, can’t he?’. Yes I can, and will, because I’m finding that all of these gorgeous people who talk to you just want to help make your day better. And yes, they want to be the ones you choose to get the help from.

I’m setting the task now: find the venue.

Requirements: warehouse/rustic-barn/quirky-space, nice toilets, fully wheelchair accessible, not too far from the Liverpool area, somewhere we both agree on.

Time scale for completion: 2 months (negotiable).

Task is set: @MistersWhoMarry over and out!

The Lovely Little Wedding Fair

The Isla Gladstone Conservatory, Anfield, Liverpool – 12.01.20

You never forget your first.

The Lovely Little Wedding Fair at the Isla Gladstone Conservatory in Anfield, Liverpool, was my first and as firsts go, this did everything it says on the tin: it was lovely and it was little, which was perfect as I step into the crazy world of wedding fairs (fayre’s? I never know which is correct!). There’s something really exciting about wedding fairs (I’ve decided on this one as it seemed to be the most popular in the quick google search I just did).

If you’ve never been to one then think of it like a big marriage-themed airport duty free; although, instead of trying on glasses you’ll never buy and spritzing yourself with different fragrances all the way up your arm, at a wedding fair you convince yourself you can’t live without a gramophone sprouting a bunch of freesias and you collect business cards like Pokémon. But just like in the duty-free, everyone wants to help you and goes out of their way to be lovely in congratulating you so you feel that warm buzz of the engagement all over again. At least this was my experience on Sunday (12.01.20).

I’m not sure if this one was standard practice but it was such a great touch to be presented with a folder on arrival containing a highlighter, a pen, some clips, post-its and a notebook… of course a creative groom-to-be would want to save the cards and make notes throughout the day. This proved so helpful. And yes, I will most likely be Groomzilla (Though I think we can come up with a better nickname… any thoughts?).

As far as components to a wedding there is so much to consider: music, food, venue, decorations, stationary, visuals, flowers, seating charts, props, photography, videography, clothing, celebrants, make-up… the list goes on, and thankfully, even in a small event like this one there was a nice range of exhibitors spread throughout the gorgeous Victorian conservatory, a beautiful venue though not the style we would like to go for. For us think more Rustic and Industrial, Warehouse-y even… Like Camp and Furnace if it had nicer toilets!

Some of the lovely exhibitors I enjoyed chatting to at this event were…

  • PHOTOGRAPHY/VIDEOGRAPHY – Clicked by Kate., Elvis and Co, Jessica Lang Photography.
  • FLOWERS – Penelope Petal Creations.
  • BRIDALWEAR – Boda Boutique.
  • EVENT PLANNING – Onyx Weddings & Events, Wachadoin’ Events, Opulence Weddings and Events, Florrie and Rene Vintage Hire.
  • STATIONARY & DESIGN – Hawthorne and Ivory.
  • FOOD – Manchester Platter Co.
  • GROOMSWEAR – Groom, The Wedding House Liverpool.
  • CELEBRANTS – Wendi Surtees-Smith

There were also some lovely live musicians throughout the day but we have specific ideas for music already given that my background is in theatre and Liam is a classical musician. He plays the oboe, or the Show-boe as I call it.

We’re booked into lots of these events over the coming months but the industry is definitely geared towards brides, whether a wedding has a bride and groom or two brides, and these fairs just don’t expect a groom to attend as he plans his wedding to his groom. But when one does turn up, my God everyone was so lovely and helpful. Love is love, after all, and these people are in the business of celebrating that love.

This blog isn’t a retaliation to an industry not ready for groom-groom nuptials; that is not the point of it at all. The point is to discuss the differences between a conventional bridal wedding and one with no bride… unless I end up walking down the aisle in drag, in which case I need to find a decent bridal corsetiére! Because there will be differences. I mean, how can we throw bouquet when neither groom will be carrying one? (Don’t worry, I have a plan… to be discussed in a later blog planned to be about flowers so you better subscribe and keep reading!)

I don’t know if this will help another young little Mary as he plans to marry his Joseph, or whether it will just make my family and friends giggle in place of my Weekly Commentary of Strictly Come Dancing and Shirley-Ballas-Slagfest. But whatever the motive, thanks for reading. This weekend gave me the urge to document the journey as there isn’t a guidebook. So I will be writing this as my DIY guide.

A D.I.Y. Guide for the G.A.Y. Bride(groom)! Someone fetch me a drill!


We have known we would get engaged one day since very early on in our relationship. We also know he was going to be the one to pop the question. He wanted to propose and I wanted to be proposed to. It was a neat fit.

I am happy to say that we are a Tinder success story. I’d be even happier if Tinder wanted to sponsor the wedding… anyone know how to sort that out?

We swiped right on June 11th 2017, the night before I joined the Norwegian Getaway cruise ship for 3 back-to-back 9-day cruises. He asked me if I wanted a drink the next night. I said, “yes… as long as you’re in Copenhagen.” We swapped numbers and what I thought would be an empty promise to meet when I returned in a month. But it wasn’t empty: we messaged throughout the cruise and when I returned we did meet on July 11th. After being caught club necking in the smoking garden of Neon Jamón on Berry Street, two hours into our first date, it was safe to say it went well. 

Two years later and both of our mothers were pressuring him to pop the question. For his 30th birthday, my cousin even bought him a wedding fund jar as a nudge, joking that she wanted to be a bridesmaid before she turned 50. She wasn’t joking, and she will now be a bridesmaid before then, I think. I need to check that!

This Christmas, we set ourselves a strict budget for presents. We’d like to buy a house this year so we agreed not to be extravagant with money. I stuck to our budget.

On Christmas morning, I handed over a meagre pile of stocking fillers (enough to fill a trainer sock, not a full stocking!) and Liam pretended the huge box he was carrying towards me was really heavy. Inside the box was another box, and another inside of that. On it went for 5 boxes: a Russian doll concealing something special on the inside. By the time I got to box three I can only describe it as out-of-body experience, like in films when the character drops into the water and it all goes quiet and slow-motion. I removed the final layer of wrapping paper and found a jewellery box. He snatched it from my hand and started to get on one knee, and I was already in tears. He asked me to marry him and I think I had said yes before he finished speaking. The ring was a beautiful band in white gold, though it needed resizing to fit over my fat knuckle (eye roll emoji). I used the twine one from of his many layers of wrapped boxes to tie through the ring so I could wear it round my neck. Still, it was perfect.

He then unwrapped the kitchen scissors I’d bought him. Face palm emoji.